Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
