I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
