Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
