Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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