don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
