you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
