Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
