Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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