talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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