I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
