My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
