OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
