farters have to be the big spoon...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
