you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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