It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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