real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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