Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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