living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
