i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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