They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
