i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
