Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
