Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
