This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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