I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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