Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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