paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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