are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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