Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
