Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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