I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
