haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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