im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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