somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
