Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
