I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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