big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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