I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
