I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
