How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
