I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
