I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
