so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
