I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
