Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
