My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize