i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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