im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize