The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
