I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
