so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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