How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
