she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She bit a glass in half.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
