I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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