piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
