Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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