spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
