Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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