I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
