He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
