she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize