3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
