Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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