worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
